POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH

OPTIONB - Post traumatic growth

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Who ever would have thought of such a phrase ? Imagine being positive after going through hell . Why would we want to do that ? Are we not meant to fall to the lowest depths , struggle and give up on life ?

I have just started to read the book Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant . I have listened and followed Adam Grant , for a while now . I find he is so perceptive of people . I  just read the phrase that Sheryl quotes in the book , Post Traumatic Growth ... it hit me instantly and feelings of shock , excitement and a desire to share this realisation that there was such a thing, took over .

I  am not going to go into what the book is about , I will leave that up to you to find out . This one statement is all I want to share with you ... that and the title Option B.

I make no secret of my journey and my depression however I have never truly opened up about what took me down that path .

I suppose what I do know is although initially I chose a different route when I left my previous life someone  else chose my Option B for me and allowed me to discover Post Traumatic Growth .

When a women chooses to walk out of a marriage , break up a family , 90% of the onlookers never see it as the smart move to make . A % of those onlookers also want to see that women fail at going it alone , fall flat on her face and "get what she deserves ".

Imagine having the strength and believe that Option A was not the right path for you or your family . a deep rooted sense of not belonging , wanting to be loved , feeling so alone ( although surrounded by people ) and desperate to find happiness.

My journey to that point hadn't been plain sailing . I had been surrounded by loss and grief for many years which had made me feel even more alone and isolated .The people closest to me never talked to me about my loss or their loss . It was the stereotypical stiff upper lip attitude , my family never discussed my fathers death it was as if now he was gone we couldn't  look back . Then soon after I lost a friend suddenly watched those closest to him struggle to move forward . They were consumed by grief and fear of the future . My own grief I never dealt with . 

Then I met someone who changed my life forever. He , ironically in the end , started Option B for me . This person gave me hope , allowed me to open up and discuss my feelings , everything I felt about life and my dreams and desires for the future . For the first time in many years I felt alive , I was not surrounded by death , I had hope for a happier life . One full of laughter, positivity and love. 

Option B ultimately changed me , my life  and my attitude and only now am I so grateful for it . With Option B came Post Traumatic Growth and allowed me to become the person I am today and I will be forever grateful for that person being the catalyst for that .

Option B has not been easy and I have experienced so much along the way .

Hatred

Threats

Abuse

Illness

Pain

Loss

Self loathing

Rejection

Abandonment

The one person who had stepped into my life to change my world , in his own words , "was a coward for not standing up for what he believed in " he chose to go back to Plan A . He could not cope with the hatred and the  threats from everyone who wanted a piece of him .Difference was I didn't need him  . I was stronger than all of them and him .

At my lowest I wanted to disappear forever , at my highest I was the happiest, most free spirited person in the room partying to drown out the pain .

That pain I can't even begin to describe,what I do know now is the pain was fear .

That fear I turned into strength and resilience against adversity just as the book describes .

Through my years of pain , hatred and abuse what have I achieved and created .

Happiness

Joy

Excitement

Passion

Life

Self love

Compassion

to better myself each day

Strong children

Resilience

Optimism

Positivity

HYGGEME - helping others to enjoy life's simple pleasures .

Now that's what I call Post Traumatic Growth.

I am the best I can be and I love the person I have become .

I am Option B and I am grateful .

Love KF X

 

No more will I make apologies for the person I am .